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| Its about 5:30am and I havent slept since last night. Its not that I
cant sleep, its just that I dont feel the need to. My eyes are
bloodshot and no one is awake but I've found that I can reflect on my
life late at night. I can think about my past and future without
worrying about the present. I'm getting a lot of mixed messages from
this world but it all seemed to clear up as I stared at the reflacted
light that the window makes on the cieling. I did a lot of thinking.
But things are odd at this time of the night/morning. I found myself
listening Hillsongs on Shuffle while trying to beat myself at solitare,
I killed a good 2-3 hours doing that and it drained half of my 24-hour
battery. I also found time to look through my old myspace comments, and
found that I was not the most popular kid at Hoover. And looking back,
I found that I made a lot of mistakes that I have not learned from, but
then agian, at that very moment, I learned to learn from the
mistakes I've made in the past, like to be true to yourself and to not
be altered by those around you as I did at Hoover, but to try to change
those who are now lost as you were. I also found that I actually was
friends with some people at one point in our lives, and also that I did
not appreciate some people that I now wish I was friends with, and tha
tthe word "love" is thrown around like a greeting.
The last few months have been hard, I really cant handle my school. So
much sin and crime around me, and I'm a contributor. I'm lost in a sea
of hyphy and ghettoness that I cant tread. Few people appreciate my
kind of Music, and fewer, my kind of lifestyle. Its hard to be me at
this school.
So, where does God fit into all of this? I realize that its hard to be
alone, theres always distractions. I used to wonder why an All-Loving,
Righteous God would allow pain to be suffered by people, but I found
that there are many reasons. First of all, pain is the way God makes us
desperate for him, we will turn to any earthly substance before a God
that we cannot see. Most of us will turn to disinfectants, medications,
bandages before we even consider going to the God who heals. Second,
pain is a state where there are little distrations because you are
totally focused of your pain, and those of strong or instilled faith
will ture that focus that is usually scattered everywhere. Lastly, God
is not out to harm you and to inflict as much pain on you due to the
wrongs that you've commited, he will no break you like a board at a
Tae-Kwon-Do class or a 2x4 at a house that is soon to be demolished but
I want to feel that God is willing to break us gently and calmly. Or
maybe even surrender before hand. I want to find a way to avoid pain, I
think the only way to avoid pain is to walk in the path God made for
you, which to me, sometimes seems like a balancing beam over molten
lava. And I fear God's will, I'm afraid of where He's going to lead me,
I have not gained that confidence in him yet. I might have a few clues,
but I may be wrong. I want to trust Jesus, but its hard. Eventhough
he's perfect, I naievely fall into the idea that there will be a flaw
in the plan.
I'm just going to ask that whoever reads this, will pray for me, or
atleast keep me in their thoughts. My problems are few to those who
walk miles to find a safe place to sleep, do their homework by
candlelight, and live with the fear of being abducted and forced
to fight for a cause that that hurt them. Pray for them first, but dont
forget me... As emo as that may sound.
| | |
| Today was pretty interesting...
I woke up at 6:45 and thought to myself "Why are you waking up at 6:45?"
Then I woke up at 7:30, remembering that I had to get to school by 9:00 to go to Great America.
Tommy got to my house by 8:20 and had some cocoa, what a freeloader.
Enough of my ramblings, here something more interesting....
We got to great america and saw Angelica from Rugrats and Tommy ran up
and hugged her, security wasnt too happy about that, but what
rent-a-cop would beat a little kid with a flashlight?
We had a good time, I lost my friends and walked around the GA 3 times, I got really tired.
I saw "School of Rock" the concert and it was awesome, the guitarist was awesome, he could play lead and sing at the same time.
We went back in Michelle's dad's car, there were 8 of us and there were
5 seats in his Ford Esacpe which meant that Daniel, Tommy, and I all
had to lay down in the trunk, michelle's dad probably felt like he was
smuggling immigrants or harboring fugitives but what we were doing was
still illegal.
I would post pics but the usb port in my computer is messed up.
We got back to San Francisco, ate pizza, and I got home at like 11:55.
What a day.
I'm almost 100% sure I got a 4.0 but my history teacher diddn't grade
my final yet. That means, I could actually get that Les Paul I wanted.
| | |
| JANUARY:
Being born in January straight-up means your the most
good looking person possible. Youve also got the best personality (bar
none) and am an absolute pleasure to be around. You are probably a
massive Burzum fan, and more than likely have an a very attractive
partner (or three!). It is also more than likely that you have a
massive record collection (that is better than anybody elses from any
other month). YOu have a great choice in films, and may one day become
a famous actor yourself - hell! youve got the looks for it!!! You are
definitly more metal than anyone born in February (especially Simon
from Seventh Cross).
________________________________________________
FEBRUARY:
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever.
Changing personality. Attractive. sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and
humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom.
Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and
easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes
unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring
and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves
entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside.
Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show
emotions.
________________________________________________
MARCH:
Attractive personality. sexy. Affectionate Shy and reserved. Secretive.
Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity.
Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered.
Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses
others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling.
Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home
decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.
_________________________________
APRIL:
Active
and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and
affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic.
Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless.
Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional.
Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. moving Motivates oneself and others.
Sickness usually of the head and chest. sexy in a way that only their
lover can see.
_________________________________
MAY:
Stubborn
and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts.
Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings.
Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no
motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream.
Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and
neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature
and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not
having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Totally BADASS. Best
person you'll ever meet!
_________________________________
JUNE:
Easy to talk to. Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness.
Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind.
Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best.
Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills.
Has that someone* always on his/her mind. Talkative. Daydreamer.
Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character.
one guy/girl kind of person. Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting
colds. loves music. pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored.
Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt.
Sensitive. Down-to-Earth. Stubborn.
_______________________________
JULY:
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood.
Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation.
Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful.
Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable.
Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but
never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides
others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions
carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of
sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations.
Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always
broods about the past and the old friends. Hot. Waits for friends.
Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Loves to be
loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.
^---woww very true 0.0
_________________________________
AUGUST:
outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on attention. no self control.
kind hearted. self confident. loud and boisteroius. VERY revengeful.
easy to get along with and talk to. has an "everything's peachy"
attitude. likes talking and singing. loves music. daydreamer. easily
distracted. loves to flirt. hates not being trusted. BIG imagination.
loves to be loved. hates studying. in need of "that someone". longs for
freedom. rebellious whe withheld or restricted. lives by "no pain no
gain" caring. always a suspect. playful. mysterious. "charming" or
"beautiful" to a specail person. stubborn. courious. independent.
strong willed. a fighter.
_________________________________
SEPTEMBER:
Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point
out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to
talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed.
Loyal and always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive.
Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and
knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when
criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around.
Secretive. Loves sports, leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions.
Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships.
Systematic. sexy but has brains.
_________________________________
OCTOBER:
Loves
to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to takes things at the
center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry
often. Treats friends importantly.Brave and fearless. Always making
friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does
not care of to control emotions. Unpredictable. Extremely smart.
_________________________________
NOVEMBER:
Trustworthy and loyal. Very compassionate and caring. Wild at times.
Knows how to have fun.Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards
your inner and outer beauty. Playful, secretive. Very emotional and
takes alot to make angry. Meets new people easily. Fearless and
independent.Can hold their own. Stands out in a crowd. Essentially very
smart .
____________________________
DECEMBER:
Loyal and
generous. sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient
and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with.
Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved.
Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Changing person
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Ok... I dont usually believe in this
stuff but I have to say, the June description is insanely similar to my
personality and the other descriptions match people that I know. Eh...
Coincedences happen.
| | |
| "I got 99 problems but your mom aint 1"-Ramzi Nijem
"Yeah...its true. What is it with me and asian girls"-Michael Cuadra
"I like Mashed Potatoes" Nico Guzman
"haha...but seriously"-Eljay Fernandez
"i gon hurt you"-Edison Zhou
"I like pigs and peanuts"-Kristen Chan
"Want to play with blue monkey?"-d'mario webb
"Cause i have red shorts"-Corrina
"your friends are pretty stupid"-my sister
"Im about as ghetto as urkel"alexander quock
"Michael Jackson is free!!!!"david c
"My moms the best cause spunky old people are cool, and shes one spunky old person" andrew s
"ablablahaaaah"-brian yan
"i like music"-Marcus Won
"I dropped the flowers"Gabby Serrano
"yea...im ghetteo"-Henry Yee
"o where o where has my amadaeo has gone"-Sean Dempsy
"Im tired"-Terence Chin
"no mom...what are you wearing?"-Shaun Camaro
"i like chicken"-Douglas Jue
"hell yeah...i can see my name"-Toni Leung
"Im not tryin to be black!"-Manlilla (Fergot her last name)
"you got those pics from pickyourshoes.com"-Russel chin
"USA! USA!" Cyrus Lee
"the olives in the mushroom field make good olives for your moms pizza"-Tommy lai
| | |
| I just learned how to play three songs:
Anxiety-Black Eyed Peas and Papa Roach
Last
Resort-Papa Roach
Dance ,Dance- Fall Out Boy
Its cool how when you think you hit a dead end when playing the guitar
when you think your not good and fell like giving up when really its
just telling you to take another path... I guess thats how it is in
life too.
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